Several of my colleagues and friends pester me like, whats my market value and all. I have always been misunderstood for my views over this. This is because they just happen to see only branches of this malice tree and try to destroy it and get agitated. Correct approach to destroy this evil is from the root. So I title this post as dowry root cause analysis (DRC analysis.. Since I am VLSI engineer this term fascinate me).
Those who think dowry itself is root of the pathetic state of women, have you ever thought why a woman's life is more miserable in Afghanistan then in India ? though there dowry is not as prevailing as India(According to Qur'an boy suppose to pay some money to girls father, It is called "bride price")? Or another thought. Now since sex ratio is plummeting many young men in Rajsthan, Haryana are not able to get marry. Instead of receiving money they are paying for the bride, do you think there woman is leading a better life? certainly not ,Some are being treated like skivvy. Then whats the root cause?
Root Cause:
Have you ever thought what was the cause that brought us in current state from the base idea of Hinduism "Yatra naryastu pujyante ramante tatra Devata" Women are honored where, divinity blossoms there. Swayamvar used to be held where girls were allowed to choose their mate.
Now India has fallen to burning brides and honor killing (though I am completely against of calling this evil madness with this name)
Let me help you to understand this issue by analogy. Social growth is similar to human body growth, all part of body should grow proportionally, uneven growth can cause an unhealthy body that's the case with Indian society.
We are trying to westernize ourselves in unhealthy way. We have happily accepted their education system, the way of eating, the way of dressing, the way leading materialistic life but we are lagging in aspect abysmally. Let me clear with an example ,suppose an American come to know that his adult daughter/son seeing a boy/girl what would be typical reaction!!!!!! Mostly happy "kid has grown up :) ." Now take a typical Indian mentality (consider a well educated family though only 20% Indians fall under this category).. . Ladaka/Ladaki hath se nikal raha hai.. even without knowing whom he/she seeing.. and take the case where family does not like child's choice.. they will use all type of weapons , emotion blackmail ( humne tuje pal pos par bada kiya hai...Paribar ki ijjat ka sabal hai.... Ma jahar kha luga.. etc).
What is this??? Why an Indian parents want to force their irrational views on a child. I am even against of imposing parents religion on their children. We should liberate our kids to choose faith on their discretion once they are adult. And if an individual is allowed to choose his god then marriage and all are trivial matter.
This is getting in rigmarole, let me summarize, we Indian want to take complete control over the children's life. We treat our children like investment for future that's not true love. True love is like birds they nurse them, protect them, even teach them to fly, then set them free.
Above mentality has rotted an Indians mind at such a level that they do not believe in girl education. They do not want that their girl to take control over her rein of life. ( Though time is changing I know most of you are not in this category but let us not forget that we are in 20% privileged Indians) This all had gone in several loops and here we are today.
I know that some of my readers will think, this all are my peculiar view of the picture, but trust me I am trying to take a panoramic and rational view rather then accepting what I have been told from the childhood. My ideas are still shaping if you can influence [positively :) ],I will be obliged.
I will write a separate post for the cure of this malignant carcinoma of society.
Thanks for reading :)
Those who think dowry itself is root of the pathetic state of women, have you ever thought why a woman's life is more miserable in Afghanistan then in India ? though there dowry is not as prevailing as India(According to Qur'an boy suppose to pay some money to girls father, It is called "bride price")? Or another thought. Now since sex ratio is plummeting many young men in Rajsthan, Haryana are not able to get marry. Instead of receiving money they are paying for the bride, do you think there woman is leading a better life? certainly not ,Some are being treated like skivvy. Then whats the root cause?
Root Cause:
Have you ever thought what was the cause that brought us in current state from the base idea of Hinduism "Yatra naryastu pujyante ramante tatra Devata" Women are honored where, divinity blossoms there. Swayamvar used to be held where girls were allowed to choose their mate.
Now India has fallen to burning brides and honor killing (though I am completely against of calling this evil madness with this name)
Let me help you to understand this issue by analogy. Social growth is similar to human body growth, all part of body should grow proportionally, uneven growth can cause an unhealthy body that's the case with Indian society.
We are trying to westernize ourselves in unhealthy way. We have happily accepted their education system, the way of eating, the way of dressing, the way leading materialistic life but we are lagging in aspect abysmally. Let me clear with an example ,suppose an American come to know that his adult daughter/son seeing a boy/girl what would be typical reaction!!!!!! Mostly happy "kid has grown up :) ." Now take a typical Indian mentality (consider a well educated family though only 20% Indians fall under this category).. . Ladaka/Ladaki hath se nikal raha hai.. even without knowing whom he/she seeing.. and take the case where family does not like child's choice.. they will use all type of weapons , emotion blackmail ( humne tuje pal pos par bada kiya hai...Paribar ki ijjat ka sabal hai.... Ma jahar kha luga.. etc).
What is this??? Why an Indian parents want to force their irrational views on a child. I am even against of imposing parents religion on their children. We should liberate our kids to choose faith on their discretion once they are adult. And if an individual is allowed to choose his god then marriage and all are trivial matter.
This is getting in rigmarole, let me summarize, we Indian want to take complete control over the children's life. We treat our children like investment for future that's not true love. True love is like birds they nurse them, protect them, even teach them to fly, then set them free.
Above mentality has rotted an Indians mind at such a level that they do not believe in girl education. They do not want that their girl to take control over her rein of life. ( Though time is changing I know most of you are not in this category but let us not forget that we are in 20% privileged Indians) This all had gone in several loops and here we are today.
I know that some of my readers will think, this all are my peculiar view of the picture, but trust me I am trying to take a panoramic and rational view rather then accepting what I have been told from the childhood. My ideas are still shaping if you can influence [positively :) ],I will be obliged.
I will write a separate post for the cure of this malignant carcinoma of society.
Thanks for reading :)
9 comments:
abe dowry na hoti to aadhe logo ke pass b'lore mein apna flat na hota...aise galat bate na kar tu yaha par
@Mohit ..Bilkul sahi bol rahe ho dost :).. Lekin apne ko tension lene ki jarurat nahi hai... mera jo idea hai uske hisab se ..tension apne se aage ane bali generation to leni hogi... apn logo ki to mast market value hai ;)
I don’t hate being a woman..and I don’t hate being an Indian.Though I am a proud Indian,I have no other choice but to say that[b] I hate being an Indian woman.[/b]
Please read the below article if you like my post.
http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/i-hate-being-an-indian-woman/
Nicely written Krishna..
Very happy to know that there are guys who think differently..because to mould a healthy culture,it necessary that both men and women should have an emotional growth at the same pace..
Hope to see more atricles from you..
You can read about western culture and honour killing here..
http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2010/06/21/lessons-not-learned-from-the-west/
http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/my-honour-is-my-curse/
You have got lot of vocabulary :)
Keep it up.
In middle.. u wrote something..
"We treat our children like investment for future that's not true love. True love is like birds they nurse them, protect them, even teach them to fly, then set them free."
totally disagree with u.. i think in India.. we love our family the most. in western countries, there is no such family concept.. a mother charge her to take care of her grandchild..
we value our relations.. nd we love each other.. i love my india..
@abhishek gupta..
If Indians do not treat their kids as future investment then can you give me reasons for following act?
1. female foeticide (Remember India is only country has this issue)
2. Asking Dowry
3. Is it symbol of love giving dowry?
4. Honor killing (treating kid has a live stock )
5. Why Indian girl has far lesser chance to get good education then a Indian boy? ( You think of in our own family, can you even give me one example where a girl is higher educated then her brother why??? )
I agree that we have dowry system and thats bad. Now answers to ur qns:
1.Because of dowry of course,but let me tell u..India is the only country where KANYADAN is the biggest grace
2. Yes thats biggest drawback of India
3. It was, now its fashion and demands
4. honor killing.. yes .. jat pat uch neech.. thats one more draeback of india
5. Thats our system.. because we have families..and girls work at home..they are not much into study.. but again i should say... picture is changed.. now girls are even more educted in some families.. waise Girls me dimag hota ni hai isme India ki kya galti hai.. bahar girls ko isliye naukri milti hai kyuki sab hi bhondu hote hai.... :p
I am not denying that We have doery system and we have foeticide and honor killing kinda stuff.
But still I don't thik:
"We treat our children like investment for future that's not true love. True love is like birds they nurse them, protect them, even teach them to fly, then set them free."
As we love our familiy and we respect this.
In other countries, they don't have such problems because they don't know what is family.
"waise Girls me dimag hota ni hai isme India ki kya galti hai.."
This was good...
You are true in some sense .. Lets take this offline some time :)
Post a Comment